In the gospel of Matthew there is an account of the Sadducees asking Jesus a hypothetical question about a woman who had been married seven times to seven brothers according to Jewish law. (Each brother had died without children, therefore assigning responsibility to the next brother to produce an heir for him. A little strange to us here in the West, I admit). Jesus was asked whose wife she would be in the resurrection.
The whole question in and of itself was nothing more than an attempt to trip Jesus up, because as a sect the Sadducees didn't even believe there is a resurrection. But that's another story.
Jesus was having none of the fun and games, and responded this way;
"But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.” And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching." - Matthew 22: 29-33
This was a direct rebuke to the Sadducees foolishness, and a powerful statement on the nature of God. But Jesus also reveals that there is something different about marriage in the eternal state as opposed to now.
Different to the point that it seems that there is none.
Frankly to me that has always been a little unsettling. Nancy and I have been married for 38 years. I love my wife in a way that is different than I love any other human being. Our relationship continues to get stronger and by the grace of God will continue to do so. It's hard to imagine that once we leave these mortal bodies we won't have the husband/wife dynamic anymore. Just seems weird. I don't pretend to know what's "next" regarding all that, but I can trust that God knows what he is doing and it must be even better.
But what does all that have to do with the here and now? What does the knowledge that our relationship will be different in the future have to do with today?
Only everything.
Because regardless of the way the future shakes out, for Christ-followers there is another dynamic relationship that should be considered by husbands and wives.
Let me address the men in particular.
She is not only your wife, she is your sister-in-Christ, and she will be for all eternity.
And that fact should surely shape how we treat our wives now.
The marriage relationship is multi-layered and complex. Human beings are by nature prideful, selfish and stubborn. Some of us embody one or more of those traits more than others. We all want some semblance of power and control over our our lives, and many times the lives of those around us. Put two of these sin natures in the same place day after day, year after year, and there is no doubt going to be conflict.
But consider this. Conflicts arise in relationships often, and part of living is resolving them when they occur. If your boss or co-worker ticks you off, would you fly off the handle in a rage, start chucking stuff around, or belittle and humiliate them until they are reduced to tears and wanting to cry up into a ball? You probably wouldn't last too long in that particular arrangement.
What other human being would we treat in such a belittling, disrespectful, and yes, abusive manner? What other brother or sister-in-Christ would we treat that way?
No human being should have to deal with that.
Especially our believing wives, who are also our sisters-in-Christ.
There are many things the Bible has to say about how husbands should treat their wives.
I Peter 3:7 puts it this way;
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
Peter is admonishing husbands to treat their wives with understanding and honor.
Why?
Because they are heirs with us, children of God who inherit the promises of the kingdom of God with us. They have equal standing and equal inheritance in the sight of God as his blood-bought, redeemed children.
Men, as followers of Christ and leaders in our home, it's time we get these things through our head. We are told to die to ourselves daily, to put others first, to love our wives, to seek to understand them, to sacrifice for them. These are not just suggestions or marriage tips. They are commands from the King of Kings. We are in peril if we ignore them.
If we are not careful we will do and say things to our wives we would never do or say to any other person. It ought not be that way.
They are our wives. They are our sisters. They are our fellow heirs through Jesus Christ.
Do the work of a hands on disciple and treat her that way.
